• strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/views.module on line 906.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_field_comment::init() should be compatible with views_handler_field::init(&$view, $options) in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment.inc on line 49.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_validate() should be compatible with views_handler::options_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter.inc on line 607.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_submit() should be compatible with views_handler::options_submit($form, &$form_state) in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter.inc on line 607.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter_node_status::operator_form() should be compatible with views_handler_filter::operator_form(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/modules/node/views_handler_filter_node_status.inc on line 13.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_row::options_validate() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_validate(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_row.inc on line 134.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_row::options_submit() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_submit(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_row.inc on line 134.
  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/views.module on line 906.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_argument::init() should be compatible with views_handler::init(&$view, $options) in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_argument.inc on line 744.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter_boolean_operator::value_validate() should be compatible with views_handler_filter::value_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter_boolean_operator.inc on line 159.
  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/views.module on line 906.

Ordinal Malaprop's blog

Eight Possibly Apocryphal Things

The latest fashion amongst Diarists, I gather from chatter in the coffee shops and eating houses, is apparently to post eight things about themselves in some manner which were previously unknown, and, having done so, suggest to eight other Diarists that they should do the same. I confess that this does sound somewhat like a plan that my brother Cardinal came up with, except that he included a further instruction to send a shilling to the person from whom you received the initial request, which led to the drastic impoverishment of many Scribblers (and consequently, coffee shops) and a short stretch for my brother at Her Majesty's Pleasure.

Given that there is no such instruction here and that I was "tagged" by the explorer Ms Bettina Tizzy I thought that I might partake on this uneventful Saturday evening. Here are eight Facts of Significant Import concerning myself.



  • I am allergic to Nickel. This causes occasional issues during my activities, but confined mostly to an occasional rash which is easily countered by the application of a medicinal cream.

  • I am the most appalling shot imaginable. During my earlier years, when my Father was instructing me in the handling of Firearms - I mean no disrespect clearly when I term him an eccentric man, who had ideas regarding the role of Woman in Society, and particularly his own daughter, that were distinctly out of step with those more generally held - he regularly despaired.

    "For G-d's Sake, Ordinal!" he would cry out in the field next door to the Hertfordshire home where I spent my early years, scaring the crows far more than my awkward shots. "It is simple, hold your hand steadier girl, and do not spasmically yank at the trigger like that. And put that screwdriver away! That is a perfectly good revolver and needs no additional parts inserted."

    I grew up entirely unthreatening to any targets, and it was only when one stray bullet aimed at an empty jar instead went through a hedge and into the wheel of a passing cart, causing its complete collapse, the spilling of its cargo of illicit whisky, and three unsavoury types to angrily leap the hedge and chase the pair of us to our very door, where they were only discouraged by the arrival of a shotgun in the hands of my papa, that he decided that perhaps it was not advisable that I continue in this particular mode of education. Instead, my mother forced me to read more Milton. In retrospect I have to say that the .455 calibre is not terribly suitable for eleven-year-old girls.

  • One thing in which I am skilled which surprises folk at times is that I can play the trombone. It was the opinion of my mother that every child should learn an instrument, for their own artistic pleasure in the future, though it is well known that children (except on very occasional occasions) have no interest in their own futures, or at least no interest in any future which requires music practice now.

    Given that I was forbidden from the piano after ruining it almost beyond repair - I merely wondered how it worked - an alternative had to be sought, and the only thing that was available in the locality was a trombone owned by a fellow from the North, who used to play in a colliery band. The poor chap had developed a lung condition from his exposure to coal dust but offered to instruct me in its use, and I surprised my parents by being particularly willing to visit him for lessons. Actually, I confess, I spent much of my time talking to him about mining machinery, but without some progress with the trombone I would not have been allowed to continue, thus it was necessary that I actually learn to play it.

    I dare say that the number of female trombonists in the world is fairly small, though I have not played for some decades and do not even own a trombone now.

  • Initially at University I had no interest in my current profession, but instead rejected it and chose to study Mathematics and Philosophy. Not only was this more approved of as something for a lady - well, certainly compared to engineering - but I had entered a regrettable adolescent phase of Romanticism, rejecting my earlier interests and instead dressing in the most terrible purple, mooning purposely after the most witless of fellow Romantics and composing the most awful poetry.

    I spent a couple of my undergraduate years studying the Classics of both fields and the work of more daring modern Logicians and Thinkers, before coming to the following conclusions:

    1. Mathematics is terribly difficult if one is to do any more than simply use it (I have heard vague references to some American thinker, "Malibu Stacy" I think, saying the same);
    2. Philosophy is all very well but often propounded by people who could not write, and should have been beaten harder;
    3. Philosophy is routinely studied by complete halfwits who would not recognise proper Thought if it were to insert itself into their skulls via a large syringe.

    These did discourage me and quite quickly I moved to the study of the Difference Engine, in which my College was internationally renowned, and discovered for myself that it was in fact much more the sort of thing that I had always wished to do. I am known to occasionally wear purple now but I do not write poetry, an activity which should only be attempted by those who are any good at it.

  • Jam Tomorrow, Jam Today

    Some Marmalade (not Jam)

    The talented Mr Nicholaz Beresford has a critical and apropos response to his Majesty Philip's recent missive, "Long Road Behind, Long Road Ahead", in which he makes a telling point.

    A Simple yet Convenient Inventory-Confirming Script

    subtitled: "Part the Twenty-Somethingth of Ordinal's Scripting Primer"

    When selling Items, I believe that the importance of setting their Permissions is well-known, lest either customers be unable to use the things or able to sell them on willy-nilly, and part of this process is making sure that the contents of an Item also have the correct Permissions. There are numerous instances where this can cause a bother.

    Orange Identities

    A small note to, well, note that I am appearing as a panelist in the "Identity Summit", presented by the Communications Company, Orange, this coming Friday the Sixteenth of November.



    What does - or does not - an avatar reveal about its owner? How does virtual identity become a brand? Is the humanoid form the best way to express our true selves?

    Justified Meat-Potting

    It was suggested today (in an entirely friendly and complimentary way, I might add) that I had ceased journalling altogether, and I was forced to admit that it might indeed appear so - simply, I had found little to actually write about recently, or rather had not had sufficient rigour and drive to go out and actively locate things regarding which to write.

    Secure Inworld Password Nonsense

    One matter upon which I have been thinking recently is the matter of Authentication between Objects within Second Life.

    For many systems it is necessary for them to be able to communicate with each other only if they share a common secret - a "password" is an example, and one used here.

    The Conclusion of Voices?

    I was recently considering the matter of Otherworldly Voices. There was an immense kerfuffle about the introduction of Voices to the Grid - admittedly, there is an immense kerfuffle about any introduction or removal of anything whatsoever, but in this case it was a kerfuffle promulgated by many Leading Thinkers and Commentators, and also myself.

    A new Forum; an old Complaint

    stippled_script2.jpgWhilst somewhat re-enabled in Aethernet terms, I am still unable to enter the Grid itself, and have been attempting to ameliorate the symptoms of my withdrawal with such things as the Scripting Section of the Official Forums.

    To tell the truth I have been there infrequently of late. Previously I would spend many hours bickering over semicolons, but I have found it drawing me less and less in recent months until I barely ever participate unless at an extremely loose end. I am not entirely sure what caused this change; perhaps it was the closure of many parts of it and the enforcement of apparently somewhat arbitary conditions, making the place far less welcoming as a whole, or perhaps there was some Social Shift, with either the tenor of new participants changing or the departure of those I previously enjoyed engaging with. Or, perhaps, it is entirely down to a change in my own character.

    “Frustration” by Sally Dunham
    “Frustration” by Sally Dunham

    One thing that most definitely has put me off ever returning, or at least offering actual Script-Code Solutions, is the current impossibility of posting up any sort of Code in any sort of Legible Form. I fear that I became infuriated by this and vowed never to return, or at least never to attempt to put up examples again. This is yet another manifestation of the dread [#WEB-156] BBCode not working on official SL Forums, one the annoyance of which I had not fully appreciated (and believe me, I have been incredibly annoyed by it already). This one thing now makes the huge Scripting Library unreadable and greatly discourages any further contributions, as well as vastly increasing the effort required to actually help anyone with their own problems or post solutions. Short queries and functions and theoretical discussions are bearable, but the prospect of struggling through some poor novice's hundred lines of unformatted code in order to chase down curly brackets is enough to make one simply not bother.


    It all infuriates me even more as there are dozens of people eager to help with this, perhaps the most opaque skill within Second Life for a beginner or Non-Technical Sort to deal with, yet they face obstacles which even have the effect of making previous stored advice less valuable. A grid full of professional Old Resident engineers, lonely newer auto-didacts and terrible ancient scripts handed down from generation to generation due to the lack of anything more recent and efficient is not the sort of vision I have ever had, and discussion and mutual education at least goes some way to preventing this dystopia and helping the broadest group and greatest number of people. Even if one has no intention of dirtying one's hands with any sort of Coding, one may still benefit from proper samples to be cut and pasted directly into an In-World Device.

    As a small sticking-plaster I have now set up my own Scripting Colloquium, where one might post Code in a manner which can actually be Read (as well as Images and Links and Things In Italics and So On). These things rarely survive for more than a few weeks, and it may die an undignified death, but I would encourage anyone with scripts and questions about scripts who is put off discussion within the Official Forums by this or other matters to visit and participate. At the least it may build up some useable examples.

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