• strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/views.module on line 906.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_field_comment::init() should be compatible with views_handler_field::init(&$view, $options) in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/modules/comment/views_handler_field_comment.inc on line 49.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_validate() should be compatible with views_handler::options_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter.inc on line 607.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter::options_submit() should be compatible with views_handler::options_submit($form, &$form_state) in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter.inc on line 607.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter_node_status::operator_form() should be compatible with views_handler_filter::operator_form(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/modules/node/views_handler_filter_node_status.inc on line 13.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_row::options_validate() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_validate(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_row.inc on line 134.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_plugin_row::options_submit() should be compatible with views_plugin::options_submit(&$form, &$form_state) in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/plugins/views_plugin_row.inc on line 134.
  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/views.module on line 906.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_argument::init() should be compatible with views_handler::init(&$view, $options) in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_argument.inc on line 744.
  • strict warning: Declaration of views_handler_filter_boolean_operator::value_validate() should be compatible with views_handler_filter::value_validate($form, &$form_state) in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/handlers/views_handler_filter_boolean_operator.inc on line 159.
  • strict warning: Non-static method view::load() should not be called statically in /home/ordinal/ordinalmalaprop.com/engine/sites/all/modules/views/views.module on line 906.

Ordinal Malaprop's blog

Mercantile insanity, short version

Dear Customers,

As of this moment, no products from Ordinal Enterprises will be available from Xstreet until further notice.

I am currently engaged in the Composition of a Longer Piece on the subject, but those interested in what might perhaps have brought about this move might wish to look at the following:

This journal entry has been brought to you free, gratis and for nothing, and did not incur a L$99 listing fee.



Verbosity and the Law

I have been told that, at times, I am prone to using far more Words than would be strictly necessary (were one wishing to be strictly concerned with the production of terse and straightforward prose, perhaps for transmission via telegraph or - indeed - semaphore!) for the communication of the central Concept or Idea that I have in mind; something which might be partially explained by the fact that quite frequently I have very little in mind, and very little idea of the semantic payload - as it were - that a particular Sentence will end up bearing. In addition to this, it has been observed that, at times, the Paragraphs that I produce are of really quite unwieldy length and unsuitable for the Easily Distracted Modern Aethernaut, though I believe that this is most unflattering to said Aethernauts; yourselves, dear readers, being clear counter examples.

The Laboratory however continues to put me to shame.

There are currently many third parties who create and distribute viewers. Most of these viewers are useful because they are innovative and many enable a more customized Second Life experience for those who use them; however, it appears that some of those third party viewers also contain functionality that is being used to copy content without the right to do so, facilitate griefing, enable phishing, collect user data without clear disclosure of such practices, and distribute software that contains harmful elements. When our revised policy goes into effect, any viewer containing functionality that can be used to impede our efforts to manage Second Life will not be tolerated. We will collaborate with developers to work towards a clear set of expectations and guidelines; however, we will also, if necessary, take action against those who actively seek to disrupt our service or violate our Terms of Service.

Or, as my old nanny said when I asked her what she thought the above meant (her being experienced in paring down my own mauve meanderings, and thus I suspected an appropriate translator here):

Most third party viewers do good things. Some can do things which people use to be naughty. We won't be allowing the ones that let people do naughty things. We'll tell the people who make viewers what's naughty, but if we think people are doing naughty things deliberately, we'll get out the strap.

Now, of course, it is welcome that the Laboratory clearly states that it will deal with breaches of the Terms of Service, but given that this, I had thought, was already something of a given, I must applaud their efforts to stretch the statement out quite as long as possible.

(The viewer registry sounds like quite a good idea though, some broader publicity than just word of mouth.)

Satire is dead

RSVP on Facebook! What is Burning Life? Event Policies

I hopefully do not have to say anything more.

Whimsical Happenings

Merely a quick note to mention that I will be appearing at the Aether Salon in New Babbage a week on Sunday, alongside the considerably more interesting and productive Ms Hyasynth Tiramisu, speaking on the subject of "Whimsy".

A link providing more specific information.

I am sure that I will be blithering in the same way that I usually do, but despite my presence I am confident that the Aether Salon will be as illuminating as always and full of the best and brightest gems of society.

Attachments, Mono and the Gallows

I was informed a little while ago of a JIRA issue that has consequences for those Scripters who - firstly - make scripts for attachments, or vehicles, or regularly rezzed items, which is quite a few of us, and - secondly - compile things with "Mono", which is also a popular pastime.

I made a note of this in my TwitterThing and, in recent days, have seen at least three separate references to the problem, despite the issue first being raised in SVC-3895 in February of this year (so, a very young JIRA issue, then).

Of course, on the TwitterThing one is restricted as to the length of explanation, and on that basis I would like to make brief mention here. My analysis is the following:

  1. The initial JIRA issue and subsequent comments indicate that rezzing Mono scripted objects is murderous to the FPS and performance of a region.

  2. "Rezzing" in this instance is not only rezzing objects via script - which would mean bullets - but also, vehicles and attachments entering the region.

  3. Mono scripts still have the usual advantages regarding efficiency and such after they are rezzed. (They do I am told use more memory which might be significant if script limits are enacted - but that is a different issue.)

  4. Therefore: for anything which might regularly be rezzed, most significantly bullets but also attachments and vehicles, which are re-rezzed on teleport or region crossing, I would advise recompiling in LSL to avoid the apparently noticeable performance impact. (I have not tested this myself beyond the odd unrepresentative experiment, but many scripters in the comments of the JIRA whom I personally trust and respect have done so.) For static devices, sales boxes, vendors, servers of all flavours, I would advise using Mono.


On a separate note, it is perhaps an indication of how long it has been since I properly wandered the Grid that I am shocked at the current state of Region Crossing. It really is like participating in some sort of novelty fairground attraction, where one is attached to a long piece of stretchy substance, flies off into the distance (without being able to control the process) and then is rapidly thrown backwards. This sort of thing might be amusing to the Young but really does not divert me, and I cannot help but question the Laboratory's decision in implementing it now.

Oh - and somebody erected a gallows next to my small Library plot in Zindra, which in another world might be taken as a threat, but here, is more of a welcome sign.

A Request for Suggestions Regarding Adult Content

It is my Rezday today, and given that, I decided to make myself a Present of 512 Square Metres of land. (Tier for which I will not be paying due to my Premium Status - a term which always makes me feel like some sort of ham. Premium Ordinal Meat, L$100 per pound!)

In any case: I have bought a small plot at Raindown (137,57). My intention there is to make an actual Adult Library; things which actual adults might be interested in, as opposed to the ridiculous fantasies of adolescents pretending to be older than they are, or older folk pretending to be younger than they are.

I would welcome suggestions as to the sort of Adult Content which might be included here. Mortgages? The obtaining of a Pension? How to deal with a particularly persistent Paramour whom one half-desires and is likely to be weak towards, yet whose actions are clearly harmful? (Cease all communication no matter of what sort!) And so on.

A script in haiku

which, itself, says a haiku.

For no easily identifiable reason.

[geshifilter-code]// LSL Haiku, first attempt // Ordinal Malaprop // Sat Aug 22 15:20:04 BST 2009 // RULES: // Each function must be a haiku including the declaration, // though only identifiable words and numbers need be included, not // punctuation. // Events must contain a haiku i.e. be three lines, 5/7/5. // "0" can be pronounced zero or "oh" to make things slightly easier. string say(string toSay) { llSay(0, toSay); return toSay + " said."; } string theFirstLinePlease() { string firstLine = "This is the first"; return firstLine + " line."; } string theSecondLine() { string lineTwo = "the second line."; return "This, " + lineTwo; } string andTheThirdLine() { string thirdLine = "it really the"; return thirdLine + " last?"; } default { state_entry() { say(theFirstLinePlease()); say(theSecondLine() + " Or is,"); say(andTheThirdLine()); } }[/geshifilter-code]

On the one hand, and on the other hand

On the one hand:

"Today we're introducing the beta version of a new dashboard on the Second Life website, and we want to know what you think! We fully believe that the immersive nature of Second Life is the way to go, but we're also excited about how the web can help you stay in touch with your Second Life community at times when you can't be inworld." SL Website Dashboard Beta

On the other hand:

Unable to send your message to the chat session with [RECIPIENT].

No. I am sick to the back teeth with this now. No more features. Nothing at all until basic damned functionality is fixed. Functionality which the Laboratory knows is appallingly broken. What on earth am I going to get out of a "dashboard" when I cannot even reply to people?

Perhaps we could have a redesigned Search, too, which enables us to find people with whom we cannot talk far more efficently. Perhaps a highly sophisticated listing of Groups, which lets us find organisations with common interests and then not be able to communicate with them. It could have all sorts of "AJAX" type arrangements and shaded buttons! All of which could tell us that regretfully the service did not work.

The Ordinal Amethyst Hatpin

I have been waffling on about this Hatpin on the PlurkThing over the weekend and really, it should now be released for Public Consumption; hence here it is. The Ordinal Amethyst Hatpin is a perfect accessory for anyone wishing to hold various parts of a hat together. As a minor extra function, it can also be used to stab people in eight different ways, with the usual custom animations, and also jab them to encourage their Rapid Movement.

Second Life006

There are all sorts of fascinating Historical Details existant regarding Hatpins; or, at least, slightly diverting ones. For instance, this particular Hatpin would have been illegal to wear in public (without a licence) in Arkansas or Illonois after 1908, due to it being slightly over Nine Inches in Length. Such laws do not exist in Caledon or in general upon the Grid, but I would advise Purchasers not to jab too many people in the Behind, as this may be Socially Unacceptable.

A free Hatpin, incidentally, to the first Commenter pointing out the hidden meaning in the design.

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