Like many others that have posted comments to your post, I am saddened to see your presence & sense of building, style & whim depart from the grid.
I can understand many of your sentiments and often feel some of them personally myself. In some ways it feels akin to the speech Galadriel, from the Lord of the Rings, gives on her time coming to an end on Middle Earth and going gracefully into the West, towards the next leg of her journey. (maybe it's just the elf in me)
Whatever comes next for you in or out of Second Life, I wish the best for you and truly have been inspired by a fellow creative making their way in the metaverse that gave so much to those you met along the way.
travel well and we amazing...
This is sad news. But honestly, I have mostly checked out of SL too. Doing very little there for my enjoyment.
I hope for us both that fun and inspiration will return, if not for SL then for something else.
I loved your work, and enjoyed the clanky noises fro the factory next door to my cafe, i will miss that old place. There is logic in an artist clearing away all they have done to make way for new horizons.
may your new path be fresh and fullfilling :)
I completely understand your situation. I have had long, dry periods of burnout in SL myself. Times when I feel exactly as you do now. I have more projects than I can ever do, and the ones that I do get around to doing, it seems like I will never finish them. And then there are the "problems" -- bugs, policy BS, limitations of the system, and times when I want to reach through the screen and mutilate people (including especially Lindens).
Somehow, I've made it through. I guess, at the end of the day, the reason I am still here is a very simple one, exemplified best by this: a good friend shows up and reminds me how important my being here is to him or her, for whatever reason. Not just to experience my creativity, but to experience me. Me, with all my shining scales as well as my "warts".
Maybe that is something that has gone missing in your SL experience; I would hope not, as I can think of no one less deserving for such gifts of friendship, with as much as you've given to so many people. You always have my admiration and respect, and I would hope to have more opportunity in the future to express it in terms of friendship.
There are always a million little pieces of wisdom that people can offer at times like these; some may apply; many do not. Even still, the hope that something, anything that can be offered, will help is always present and is a good thing. In that light, I would proffer this:
The one thing I have found that never seems to change in the dark times is myself. Instead of pursuing the new and different, I get mired down, even anchored, in the old and the past. I never realize it, because I expect it to be this way. Forlornly and, perhaps foolishly, I expect the world then to change around me; for it to carry me into the future. That's not how I arrived at where I am; I led the charge to be here. Now that I am here, where I thought I would be happiest (or relatively close enough to it), I discover that what made me happy wasn't the arrival, but the "getting here". Most everyone can be happy with arriving at the destination of their dreams, and many can continue to be happy dwelling in them, even for an eternity. I, among others, simply cannot. I can enjoy a good night's (or even a few years') rest at any particular destination, but it is the journey that interests me and drives me. Denying that, I end up mired and stuck at my present destination, growing more unhappy and bored the longer I stay. It's not simply a physical destination, or even a virtual destination, but a metaphorical destination. Almost a mindset, if you will. It's only when I have the luck and the opportunity to see my situation from the outside do I realize what is happening and why.
Perhaps it applies to your situation to some degree; perhaps not. It does sound to me like you are at a crossroads, perhaps doing some re-evaluation. If so, and you find yourself in a similar situation, I would suggest this, as cliche as it might sound: BE the change (again) that you want in your life and experience. You were the change that got you to where you are in SL; you can do so again wherever you want to go, be it just someplace different *in* SL, or someplace outside of SL. Just don't forget that it is the journey that makes getting to the destination worthwhile, not simply the arriving.
Regardless of what you decide, or where you go, may the winds bear you safely and gently on your journey. I am always available, should you have need to call. :)
I join the chorus of those who will miss you. I understand the burn-out that can creep up with little warning.
As far as I'm concerned, "It's not fun anymore" is a perfectly reasonable justification for taking a considerable break from what used to feed you but is now draining dry. Take all the time you want. But, as you can see from the outpouring of good wishes, you made a positive impact on people and avatars alike and will leave a significant gap in the landscape.
Please continue to grace us with your presence, even if you have to wear a sign around your neck saying "No sympathetic urgings, please" to make it work for yourself. :-) We appreciate you for who you are as well as for the contributions you made.
I'm glad you've held on to your land.
Last year I saw Effulgent Brown leave SL. She returned for a brief visit a few weeks later after I & others IMed her.
She came to my SL home and we chatted for nearly an hour. One of the things she told me really struck a chord, she said that as she hit "abandon land" and cntrl Q....she thought 'my god what have I just done'.
Nearly a year later she did return.
I hope you do as well...while we have never met, I too have read what you've had to say.
I treasure those of you that came before me...
This is quite sad to read. I will miss hearing of your efforts, and hope that whatever you do choose to spend time on in the future, that you find it rewarding. And yet, I can deeply empathize with you
I seem to have hit a similar stalemate in my own creativity. I have ideas, but just not the incentive to bother marketing them. Things that used to sell well have declined greatly, in some cases to zero sales and closing that business. Myself, I am still trying to "hang in there" with texture sales and custom sim building, but if I didn't have one very enthusiastic sim-building client who is still actively asking for my work, I would seriously consider pitching it in and cutting WAY back.
For me, I still have some social aspects in SL, that, while diminished, still keep me going.
The AU stuff... Meh. Not for me, thanks. But at the same time, I can just ignore it, like I do Voice. I think it will negatively impact those of us who do not rush to embrace it, but will wait and see.
Its always sad when a decent person leaves SL but take care and be happy in whatever you do now and in the future :)
I can easily see how a creator's own life can reach a point where you just have to move on from a particular medium or environment. But you seem to suspect that Ordinal Enterprises was not worthwhile because it had ceased to bring YOU joy - but it was/is immensely worthwhile, for the inspiration and joy it brought to all of us whom you've never met, who visited and wondered and maybe picked up just one or two things, along with a load of ideas.
Then took them home and tore them apart and giggled at what we built, starting from your inspired silliness.
Had you left your store up, it would not have been a mausoleum of ideas, as you seem to feel ... there are always more newbies who need that bubble machine to get them started!
And oh, if I had known you were departing ... one final shopping trip!
*smiles* Thank you for what you gave us, and may your new days be filled with fresh ideas and the freedom to make them real.
This ferret has a sad. But not enough words to properly express it.
You, Ms Malaprop, have long been my heroine, and we shall be less without you here.
(I fear I shall be less without you here.)
I hope you find satisfying expression for your wondrous imagination, in whatever world you choose.
Thank you. Others are more capable wordsmiths than I, so what more can I say?
I'd not had the fortune of meeting you, Dame Ordinal, but I feel the loss for never having met a person so admired by so many.
I am so sorry that it has come to this. I genuinely wish you the best.
I'm reading this here. We never knew eachother inworld but I always liked your things and your posts - when I bothered to read the forum.
This comes close to the heels of the rest of the ARMORD property going up for sale and the impending damage to the Nova Albion skyline. The Empire State Building wasn't built by the city of New York, but it's certainly a landmark that its line of property owners wouldn't think of demolishing.
Unlike ARMORD or the ESB, while your purge of a presence on the grid may have the same effect on people, I can understand when things clutter up and it's time to reevaluate one's purpose.
Maybe there's a need to go back to the beginning, but a different beginning. This place gave you joy and you could flick off technical issues off your shoulder like gnats.
If there's one thing I've learned, it's that Second Life is big enough so that people one sees as idiots can do their idiotic things and never touch your life. In a way it's successful in making that possible.
As for Avatars United, LLL (Lazy Linden Labs) wanted a premade SocNet instead of build their own and assimilated an idling one. Will it undergo the same transition SLEX did and eventually require your SL login? No doubt after the BETA. Right now people are draining into it at breakneck speed. I don't need a SocNet exclusive to SL; for that there's Twitter Blogger and Flickr; short of linking to these on AU, there's not much original content they can expect from me. Think most people feel that way.
Anyway I hope you go back to some basics and just explore SL, and in the process find something inside which might be hibernating. You can always go back if that's your destiny. Or maybe there's something else you want to do for awhile, inside or outside. Best of luck in your travels OM. May they find you peace and recoup your spark.
Dearest Ms. Malaprop:
I can only thank you for all the inspiration and humor and entertainment you've given me in my almost four years of avatar life in SL. You were one of the first SL blogs I ever subscribed to, and have never been surpassed in writing quality and wonderfully arch humor.
I too have mostly left the grid, but I was never as creative as you. But I lost the love, and try as I might I can no longer find a reason to motivate me to log in. This world has lost its spirit, and I can't truly blame anyone in particular, but that the moment of which I and you were here in SL has mostly passed.
I hope that you will find your peace, and another outlet deserving of your prodigious talents, and I hope that I will find you once again.
First: You will be missed. I was definitely inspired by your mechanical, period-appropriate designs, and you may have even turned my disdain for so-called "steampunk" affectation into something more like non-patronizing affection. You were certainly the first example I saw of someone genuinely having fun with creating in SL and releasing lots of stuff with full permissions, as if to say: I had fun; you have fun too.
I went through a period similar to this, though mine was more gradual. What initially gave me passion about Second Life was the ability to construct, to design, and to script pretty much anything I wanted. I cared much less about the social aspects and still do. What may summarize my ongoing frustrations with Second Life is that throughout college, when learning to program, I learned that the first place I should point a finger of blame when a program didn't work properly was myself. The programming tools, though imperfect, were highly unlikely to produce a program that did anything but exactly what I told it to do. Outside of academia, this is still largely the case, but the only environment that has ever frustrated me more to work with than Second Life is Windows. With some experience, I've learned (as you obviously have) to work around those nits when scripting, building, and texturing. The saving grace of Second Life is the content we create in it and the ability to do so much with it. It's a shame that the experience isn't more consistent.
At one point I found I hadn't logged in to SL for months. I took down my content, sold my land, and happily went about other things.
Now I'm back in SL on occasion, playing some music with and doing content creation for a friend, and, with caveats in mind, I'm having fun doing it again.
I don't mean to be preachy or patronizing. Your experience is doubtless different from mine. But I truly hope you'll be able to come back with expectations blunted by experience and renewed enjoyment some day.
Deanfred Brandeis/Dean Reuters
Sorry you wound up leaving Ordinal, I hope things are otherwise okay with you.
I had not been keeping up with my twitter feed this weekend so was perplexed earlier when I went to the former location of your store and saw all of the signs people had left for you.
I agree that if LL owns avatars united there should be something in there to verify an account there belongs to the person with that username (hopefully without forcing us to give our SL password to them). Of course, they probably need to make a distinction between account name at AU and the names used in the various virtual worlds or they will have two people in different VWs having the same claim to a name.
You will certainly be missed. Most of us are only in SL as long as our friends are, and now quite a few people have one less reason to stay in SL.
Besides, who will we get our toys from now? :)
I was a neighbor for a while and was greatly encouraged and inspired by your work. I am hoping that you will respond to LL's petty stupidities in much the way i hope to, by moving out onto the greater Internet. Their are a number of grids based on the OpenSim platform that are very much like SL was a few years ago. What is needed is for pioneers not to move to one of those but rather to stretch out and span several. Rather like the west Indies company spanned the world, Sears catalog store spanned the midwestern United States and beyond, or Like Capitan Nemo roomed the seas. :D
To say that I was shocked and dismayed by your decision to shutter your unique business and depart the Grid, perhaps forever, would be a sore Understatement. Your Aethernet Journal of endeavours in Scripting and Enginery was among the influences and inspirations that compelled me to enter the Linden Realm in the first place, and though I have never had the chance to say so to your face, I owe you among others a great Debt for this, that I should never be able to repay with every Linden Dollar on the Grid.
My own disappearance from the world of late, as I have elsewhere noted, was a forced one, occasioned by the very real lack of income in the Real World with which to support my virtual life. Having secured Gainful Employment anew, I daresay that Madam Selenalore and I will return to the Grid's environs, on a limited basis, at some point...but I note in considerable Dismay the number of my friends and influences that have departed, with or without such notice. I begin to wonder if, in fact, Laboratoire Linden truly has lost its soul.
My very best of wishes to you and to your future endeavours, in whatever World or Worlds may be or come.
I didn't know you personally, but did read at times what you have written, said, or replied. Your creations have shown a uniqueness and sense of humor that impressed me greatly. I've been touched by the underlying grace of your spirit that shows in all you do.
Although I never knew you personally, I will indeed miss you.
Sorry to hear that you've decided to shut Ordinal Industries.
You've been a real beacon to all the rest of us, showing us what SL can do, and pushing us to do better.
We'll miss you, but here is hoping you find something new to interest you, either in or out of SL.
All the best
what a shame!
i wish you a very good fresh new start, whatever you decide to do next!
Please don't leave.
You are an inspiration to creators everywhere that things *are* possible, no matter how extraordinary or implausible they seem in one's mind.
Wishing you luck in whatever you undertake next.
I'm very sorry to hear about this. I am finally finding time to work on the scripting platform again and have several projects under way that will hopefully make things less stupid. I was hoping very much to see you using them.
Hoping this is not the end.