Regarding Ordinal Industries deliveries to Scotland

On 29 Apr 2011, at 14:31, MARK JOE wrote:

Hello, My name is MARK JOE, I want to order some product items from your store to my below address in Scotland but before i proceed, i will like to confirm the type of credit card you accept as payment (VISA OR MASTER CARD) and if you can ship to the below address. Please let me know asap, so i can proceed with my request. Best regards MARK JOE M&J STORES LTD (an address in Ullapool, removed as it seems a perfectly innocent guesthouse - Ordinal) mjstoresltd@gmail.com

Hello - I am able to accept Visa, but unfortunately not Mastercard.

Delivery details will depend on the exact products to be ordered, as there are issues with packaging and export licences. For instance, Transitory Umbrellas can be shipped as is (for use on private land only and below 100m altitude) - whereas I will not legally be able to send firearms, e.g. the Howdah Pistol and requisites, without proof of the appropriate certificates. These can be delivered by fax or email.

Automatic weapons and explosives are not legal for private citizens in Scotland at all. If you represent a government body, I would suggest that you go through standard UK military tendering procedures, where Ordinal Industries should be registered as a supplier. If you are interested in purchasing one or more Gun Balloons, they will require additional details of an appropriate airfield for delivery.

Looking forward to your reply.

Hopefully, publishing this will will be of use to others wishing to make similar enquiries - I have tragically neglected to make these details clear previously.

(You may see further developments by looking at the "SL to RL Export" tag in this Journal.)

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Rhianon Jameson's picture
29 Apr201123:29
Rhianon Jameson (not verified)

Indeed, it is incumbent upon the shopkeeper to make clear the terms of sale. In addition, although one might just as easily expect the customer to know the Law of the Land in terms of what goods may be sold (and to whom), the vendor may be in a better position to be well-versed in the legal niceties.

I applaud your devotion to customer service, madam!

Fogwoman Gray's picture
29 Apr201123:55
Fogwoman Gray (not verified)

Madame,
As a resident of the great state of Alaska in the United States of America, I am not only legally allowed to own firearms, explosives and nuclear weapons under 100 megatonnes, but am required to do so by law.
Having used up my current supply of explosives in a recent rabbit hunting expedition I find myself in need of resupplies.
A quote on bulk orders would be most appreciated, and I can supply the shipping container and barge required for delivery.
Yours,
Miss Fogwoman Gray

Ordinal Malaprop's picture
30 Apr201100:08
Ordinal Malaprop

Dear Ms Gray - Ordinal Enterprises would be very pleased to fulfil any appropriate order, and would certainly be happy to enable customers to comply with binding government regulations regarding minimum levels of possession.

It is however an unfortunate fact that postage between Caledon and Alaska is extremely unreliable, involving many sim crossings and significant ontological modification, and given that, I cannot guarantee a delivery date. If this is acceptable, please specify "RL" as a destination on the order form and shipping can be calculated at that point.

Breezy Carver 's picture
30 Apr201101:12
Breezy Carver (not verified)

Dear Dame Ordinal .
Thank you first, for Your exquisite designed , working weaponry
and second for very own keen Customer Service .
Please Forgive me, for my lack of knowledge here,
In reference to your Automatic Bee Weapon .
Is a queen included ?
Do the bees need to be loaded and are the Said bees , working bees ?
Is there any possibility of the worker bees making honey ,when weapon is not in use out of the question ?
Thank you so much for your time .
All the best to you and yours
Respectfully Yours
Breezy Carver

Ordinal Malaprop's picture
30 Apr201121:51
Ordinal Malaprop

Whilst the precise interior workings of the Beehive Launcher are a commercial secret, I can say that, before launching, the hives are entirely self-sufficient and should last for decades. It is only the opening of them that enrages the bees concerned to the point of homocidal mania. Given that, while the bees do make honey, it would be problematic to extract, and that particular species makes quite insipid and bitter honey in any case so it would really not be worth the effort.

If the quoted potential customer wishes to purchase Beehive Launchers I shall remember to inform them of this. I am not aware of any legal restrictions relating to Apiary Projecting Devices that would prevent their export to Scotland; wildlife regulations are complex, though, and perhaps I should take legal advice on the matter.

The Mayor's picture
14 Oct201120:23
The Mayor (not verified)

This is an email from a scammer! I got the same email verbatim and I don't sell anything...

Just a heads-up.