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The Ordinal Transitory Umbrella

Transitory Umbrella 2

The region of Caledon Perenelle has recently been discovered on the Caledon Archipelago, and I am dedicatedly perusing the assorted journals, maps, sketches, papers and various pieces of what is quite frankly Junk and Flotsam, left to me by my Great-Uncle regarding this Peculiar Area. Doubtless things will be revealed soon enough; if only he had not used such an Annoyingly Semi-Penetrable Cypher.

One piece of the Puzzle which I have Solved, though, is Great-Uncle's use of specialised Umbrellas. Whilst, being a Malaprop of the Hertfordshire Malaprops, he obviously preferred Dirigibles in practice, it seems that during his Expedition he and his compatriots frequently used a particular brand of Umbrella for short journeys.

This somewhat heavy parapluie, constructed from the hide of a beast frankly unknown to me, is impregnated with some form of propulsive on the inner surface, and with careful manipulation a Holder may propel themselves aerially. Other Umbrellas are more wilful, and do not care a jot what their Holders wish, but I would not put those out for Money, really, for fear of Complaints.

The upshot of all of this is that the Ordinal Transitory Umbrella is now currently On Sale for a mere Fifty Linden Dollars. Should you be interested, please do see my Caledon shop, or in fact Caledon Perenelle, or if you insist, its listing on that dratted Xstreet thing.

Crap Mariner's picture
09 Apr200904:27
Crap Mariner (not verified)

I'll get one, but there may be mass mayhem when Pandora's Topter deploys.

I guess now is when I should check my insurance policy.


Dale Innis's picture
09 Apr200910:14
Dale Innis (not verified)

As a new owner of the Ordinal Transitory Umbrella, I can attest that it behaves precisely as described, both as to propulsion and as to price. A most satisfactory object, altogether.

Peter Stindberg's picture
09 Apr200918:50
Peter Stindberg (not verified)

Dear Lady Malaprop,

trusting your reputation of not being faint at heart, I see it as my duty to report of a strange and potentially dangerous ritual I have encountered during my extensive travels through the more wild parts of our realm.

It appears that certain natives celebrate the annual return of their coming into this world in a crude, saftey neglecting way. And in order to derive additional chemical stimulants in their bloodstream, do so even shockingly without any clothing on, not even a corset or crinoline! I myself was wittness of those lewd and dangerous acts and - trusting on your integrity - have to admit I was even coerced by the natives to participate in these almost pagan rituals.

There is a collection of daguerrotypies of said shocking and disturbing incidents. In case you are courageous enough to watch them I suggest in all humbleness the aid of a glass of Brandy in order to dampen the unsettling effect. The gruesome evidence can be found here: http://www.flickr.com/groups/poppinsrezdayjump/

With all due respect to your amazing work, and in the hope to not be the cause for nightmares or other irritations, I remain your faithful servant,

Peter Stindberg, Esq