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The Ordinal Wilks&Co Vertical Clock-Loading Pistol

An actual product release for a change; yes, it is another pistol which may break down at a moment's notice. Please see the following:


The Full Set Of Photographs

For the next few hours, available for half price from my Caledon shop! (That is, L$200.) (Not any longer.)

If you wish for more detailed Historical Information, please do read the following....

The Vertical Clock-Loading Pistol was originally designed by Mr Peter Wilks, a clockmaker with no prior experience in Gunsmithery, yet a keen interest in the support of bold Partisans and Rebels fighting against Oppression. In the cellar of his Whitechapel shop, Mr Wilks (an autodidact by temperament) worked for two years on the design of the Vertical Clock-Loading Pistol. His bold idea was to incorporate a loading mechanism driven by a combination of Gravity and Cunning Clockwork Mechanism, thus avoiding any Jamming of the Mechanism due to Misfiring and also an unusually high Rate of Fire for a pistol, and in this he succeeded admirably. Yet Mr Wilks was not merely a talented engineer, but a man with a keen interest in Morale and its Maintenance. He included in the Vertical Clock-Loading Pistol a durable music-playing device operating from a series of punched tapes, which would re-energise its revolutionary wielder with one of several inspiring pieces of music. Several hundred Vertical Clock-Loading Pistols were constructed and distributed around the world to Rebel Movements, where they were greeted with some Non-Plussed Expressions, but used to greater or lesser effect. Unfortunately, the reputation of the Pistol suffered something of a blow as it was discovered that, whilst Jamming was not an issue, the main spring of the Pistol was a tad fragile, and the mechanism required winding at unpredictable times. The final blow was dealt at the same time as the final blow to Mr Wilks himself. Of Ruritonian extraction (his family having changed their name to more easily enter English mercantile society) he had returned to his homeland with a case of Pistols and six of Ammunition, in order to free Ruritonia from the depradations of the (depraved) Tyrant of the time. He quickly associated himself with a band of Rebels and it was determined that the only course of action would be Assassination. From the accounts of the sole survivor of his final expedition, the Pistol proved extremely effective in eliminating Lackeys protecting the Palace of the Tyrant, and within a short space of time the plucky band had reached the opulant Bedroom of the fiend. Alas, at the precise point that they were preparing to enter, the stroke of midnight was reached, and the Pistols of the entire band had been set such that they simultaneously chimed in an inspiring but somewhat noisy manner - alerting nearby soldiers, who quickly emerged into the corridor from their guardroom. Even at that point, the combined Firepower of the rebels' Pistols might have overcome the Defenders of Tyranny, but Fate combined with Poor Metallurgy conspired to thwart this; fully half of the band's Pistols were afflicted with popping main springs, and the soldiers made unpleasantly short work of them with their crude but non-clockwork rifles and sabres. Ordinal Industries is pleased to be able to provide some support to the family of Mr Wilks, and has of course fixed all of the construction issues that plagued previous models. (Customers are however advised that, legally, the Vertical Clock-Loading Pistol has been designated a Historial Reconstruction rather than a Firearm, and thus all Liability for Injury or Death caused by Aspects of this Reconstruction has been most thoroughly Disclaimed.)

As a point of order, looking back upon the Photographs here I am really not entirely convinced by the current Colour of my Hair. frowns

Otenth Paderborn's picture
23 Jun200801:40
Otenth Paderborn (not verified)

I eagerly await the moving picture advertisement!

Banana Stein's picture
23 Jun200801:45
Banana Stein (not verified)

Brilliant --- does it come in purple?

Ordinal Malaprop's picture
23 Jun200816:17
Ordinal Malaprop (not verified)

Moving pictures will indeed be forthcoming at some point.

Er, no, it does not come in purple - purple, after all, being historically the colour of Royalty and Tyrants and Empire.

Fogwoman Gray's picture
25 Jun200818:08
Fogwoman Gray (not verified)

I shall make a space in my inventory for another of your amazing devices....
Although I will admit the Howdah is still my favorite :)

Rezzday Aftermath | VintFalken.com's picture
16 Nov200804:02
Rezzday Aftermath | VintFalken.com (not verified)

[...] Urqhart got me a - long desired - Ordinal Wilks&Co Vertical Clock-Loading Pistol (more on that here): “I probably should have mentioned that if I offer to buy you a gift and you tell me exactly [...]

Aether Salon - Ordinal Malaprop on ‘Weapons!’ | VintFalken.c's picture
19 Nov200804:46
Aether Salon - Ordinal Malaprop on ‘Weapons!’ | VintFalken.c (not verified)

[...] solution as to not have to use voice inSL?’ one of Miss Malaprop’s finest works, a vertical clock-loading pistol. You’re a bloke? Sorry, this is one of those cases of positive discrimination that sucks [...]