September 2006

I’m sure that any person of sufficient powers of concentration to be willing to hack through the thick, obscuring undergrowth of verbiage that makes up my Journal in the faint hope that, in sufficient time, they will clear aside one last creeper to find King Solomon’s Mine revealed (or more likely a deserted quarry and a small squalid shop selling badly-painted souvenirs) has had the experience of becoming so engrossed in some project or other in Second Life that they completely forget to perform some vital task, such as - for the gentlemen - trimming one’s moustache before meeting one’s friends at the club for a snifter, or - for the ladies - reloading one’s revolver before facing down Giant Man-Apes near, though clearly not precisely at, the centre of the Earth.

With this in mind I present a small automaton known as the NagBot. Once in existence, the NagBot will wait until its owner is actually in the world, and then begin to remind them of tasks which they really should complete.

NagBot: Can't you get your act together and finish that
project?
NagBot: Stop wasting time and brush the hedgehog!

The NagBot begins by reminding after five minutes, but with each reminder the interval halves, so that the next is after two-and-a-half, the next one after one-and-a-quarter and so on down to a minimum time of ten seconds. (As set.) One cannot escape from the NagBot anywhere on the grid, and it cannot be bargained with, it cannot be reasoned with, it absolutely will not stop until you are logged out. Actually, if it hears you speaking in its vicinity it will just nag you more.

The script for this device can be found here:

• nagbot.lsl

Do modify any of the variables in CAPITAL_LETTERS; their purpose should be adequately explained.

–

On a separate note I have been working on more detailed, and larger, explosions. After some watching of assorted pieces of cinema I came up with a smallish explosive device last night involving three separate particle effects:

An Explosive Test on Vimeo

The part of this which I was most interested in getting right was the flaming cloud of gas that usually results from any interesting explosion. In this example it appears only quite briefly, but one resulting from different components would appear quite differently. Having bright flames mixed in with black smoke was quite tricky, and is still not perfect, though in my mind nothing I do ever is in any case. The next step I think will be to have a convincing pattern of dust and debris coming up from the ground, either as a mushroom cloud or a ground “ring” effect depending on the altitude of the blast, and perhaps a larger explosion involving a huge roiling cloud of flame moving upwards.

–

And on a final note, through Tinselman I see that Qarl has been breeding blimps, a subject which I believe I have mentioned before in the context of trams and am still somewhat fascinated by. I shall be adding a few more comments to said entry in due course.

Well. The SLurlblogger seems to be relatively operational now. All I have to do is write up the damned documentation on how to set it up to post to Typepad, Wordpress, Blogger and all of those nonsense things.

Individual notes can be taken and appear as paragraphs, as you see, and the display of SLurls can be turned off if need be.

I have also set it up so that it is more menu-driven, which is clearly a useful thing and makes the business of configuration considerably easier. Of course, with this method, paragraphs are limited to the size of the chat box, but that is really…

…rather large, and in any case overlong paragraphs spoil the Readableness of a document, I find.

If only it could post screenshots one would never have to leave the Grid. Incidentally, is it just me, or is the colour of chat text a little unpredictable? I’ve seen my own chat appear in green and that of objects in white, occasionally.

Caledon 253,37,36 - Just for Chance Takashi

Caledon 253,37,36 - mice wearing hats, oh so pretty, mice wearing hats, oh so pretty, mice wearing hats, oh so pretty, mice wearing hats, oh so pretty, mice wearing hats, oh so pretty, mice wearing hats, oh so pretty, mice wearing hats, oh so pretty, mice wearing hats,

Caledon 253,37,36 - mice wearing hats, oh so pretty, mice wearing hats, oh so pretty, mice wearing hats, oh so pretty, mice wearing hats, oh so pretty, mice wearing hats, oh so pretty, mice wearing hats, oh so pretty, mice wearing hats, oh so pretty, mice wearing hats!

mice wearing hats mice wearing hats mice wearing hats mice wearing hats mice wearing hats mice wearing hats mice wearing hats mice wearing hats mice wearing hats mice wearing hats mice wearing hats mice wearing hats mice wearing hats mice wearing ha

Caledon II 105,121,38 - and on

Caledon II 105,121,38 - and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on an

Caledon II 105,121,38 - for god’s sake that must be enough

Caledon II 105,121,38 - I’ve run out of memory now dammit.

Caledon 116,52,40 - I’ll delete all of these later.

Caledon 116,52,40 - Right now, I want to test a really long post, so this one will be full of rubbish.

Caledon 116,52,40 - Blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah

Caledon 116,52,40 - de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah

Caledon 116,52,40 - de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah

Caledon 181,56,50 - BLAAAAAH de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de bla de blah de blah de blah de blah

Caledon 181,56,50 - *draws breath*

Caledon 181,56,50 - de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah

Caledon II 13,63,48 - de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah

Caledon II 50,66,43 - de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah

Caledon II 50,66,43 - is that enough?

Caledon II 105,121,38 - Blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de b

Caledon II 105,121,38 - that must surely be enough to require two posts

Caledon II 105,121,38 - Oh, fabulous, it wasn’t, that’s really great.

Caledon II 105,121,38 - de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah de blah

Caledon II 105,121,38 -

Caledon 108,53,42 - Please ignore any of these peculiar messages that you see on this Journal.

Caledon 81,79,40 - This is me testing further enhancements to the SLurlblogger.

As a final element of the rebuilding project that has been taking place on my Caledon property recently, I have been Doing My Bit for the Safety of the Island.

Sea Defences on Vimeo

I am compelled by general sloth to offer up a few morsels from around what I have learnt has been termed the “SLogosphere“. The previous sentence is the first and last I will ever write containing that appalling word, unless it is to further express my distaste.

• The ever-perspicacious Gwynneth Llewelyn provides us with another excellent piece, on the different divisions within Second Life. Immersionist or augmentationist? Both fine words to be sure, much better than, you know, the one above.

• The Scripting Wiki now exists once more! (Via Catherine Omega.)

• The Feature Voting Tool appears to be being dusted off, perhaps in preparation for more active use. Democratically-minded readers may wish to go there to express their opinions, though it is not clear whether one will be able to cast votes on the matter. (Having Laboratoire Lindèn putting up all of their new ideas for Second Life in the same way as residents, to be voted on, would be an interesting and ground-breaking concept, but I suspect just a tad unlikely to happen.)

Recently I decided to entirely replace my existing shop with what I consider to be a much more aesthetically pleasing, and spacious, building; the shop floor is a now a broad, high-ceilinged, iron-framed gallery. Clearly I had to retain the breakable windows, and clearly I had to retain a balloon deck from which visitors might board the Touring Dirigible. (Even considering its antiquity, the Dirigible is still very popular. It would probably be worth me renovating it a little as, well, it is a little ugly.)

The ceiling of the gallery is rather high at nine metres or so above floor level, and given that the balloon deck is on the first floor there needs to be some method of reaching it. To begin with I merely placed a large hole through which one could fly, but really, unassisted flight is terribly ungainly and gauche. A large spiral staircase… hm, well, not really me.

I decided upon a balloon-related solution instead. The central component of this is a platform suspended from four balloons, filled of course with my secret formula of lifting gas and thus providing considerably more lift than one might expect from their size. The platform is placed underneath the above-mentioned hole in the first floor. Such a platform, of course, if not strictly controlled would simply rise to the rafters, stay there and be no use to anyone, and so when it is either on the shop floor or at the balloon deck, it is held in place by sturdy bolts.

When the balloon is released from the shop floor it naturally rises upwards, turning slowly, until it reaches the correct elevated position at which point the upper bolts engage. How, though, does it descend? The most straightforward solution would be to have it pulled down by chains, or perhaps drop ballast, but I am certainly not here to provide straightforward solutions, and thus have employed a gigantic Electro-Magnet to pull the platform down again. It sparks and buzzes and pulls the platform down until the lower bolts can be engaged.

Here follows the obligatory video demonstration:

Electro-Magnetic Balloonery on Vimeo

Of course, this is not a traditional electromagnet, which would collapse the entire building, use a ridiculously immense amount of power (I haven’t even bothered calculating this) and brutally rip all of the “bling” from the attachment points of passers-by (perhaps not a terribly bad thing, come to think of it). I am not at liberty to discuss the precise mechanism at this time, I’m afraid, under orders from the Ministry.

Actually I am a little concerned about this and would prefer a more traditional physics-based approach. I may still change it entirely.

Oh, and a quick message to the segment of the population who, upon being given a peculiarly-named object by another peculiarly-named object, have the immediate reaction to rez it upon the ground or other surface: please don’t. One advantage to having one’s own personal Biological Clock running on good old British Summer Time, though, is that periods of Grid-Disruptive Fence-Breaking do tend to occur whilst one is asleep, and be fixed by the time one awakens.

I did mean to put up a video of this previously, only, well, I didn’t. By the way, when it says “cover one’s ears” it is advisable to do so.

I am afraid that the musical accompaniment really is rather obvious.

The Ordinal Gun Balloon on Vimeo

Now. Is there anything else that I might record? If there is, I hope it can wait until Sunday as that is when my allowance resets.

Edit: Vimeo appears not to be working, so I have replaced this clip with a reference to one on Google Video; others can be found “by the same author” there.

Edit again (2006-09-18): Well, Vimeo is there once more, so I have re-replaced the clip, as I find that Vimeo provides a better quality of picture. Apparently they encountered unexpected problems during an upgrade, which makes my continued use of their service most definitely appropriate for Second Life. I jest! Please do not smite me!

And what is the problem now? Here I am in the middle of a commercial discussion and the entire world turns grey and ejects me. Honestly, one cannot help but take these things personally sometimes. A little warning would be appreciated.

~huffs~

For the record, by the way, in case this Journal is consulted, I am happy to do custom ammunition work; replacing any of the rounds fired by any of my weapons with any other rounds fired by any other weapon that I make is usually a simple task and would be priced accordingly, perhaps L$100 if the script needs updating. Adding entirely new behaviour, well, the time and effort and remuneration would really depend on what was desired, but I am certainly amenable to the idea.

~huffs again~

Addendum: I am also reminded by my Inner Estate Agent that I am never going to get my unwanted mainland sold before Tier Day now. Bah and double bah!

I am fed up unto the back teeth with not being able to have my Instant Messages sent to my Aethernet Mailbox on account of people being untidy and leaving chess pieces out near the Tram Rezzing Device (for the uninitiated, the Device sits near the chessboard in Caledon II, and creates a new tram if the old one has an accident befalling it, but if the area is already full of Primitives, well, it complains to me).

On the other hand, one cannot really complain if one creates a device which behaves in a way which one does not mean it to; it has hardly decided to do this on its own. With this in mind I have made certain modifications to the device. It now, for instance, after a failure to rez a new Tram, waits an hour before trying to rez another one.

If only I could make the trams not tell me when they have been returned either. I do not care. I can find out if necessary. I wonder if STATUS_DIE_AT_EDGE would do this? We shall see.

Furthermore I just noticed that my Touring Dirigible reported a Dataserver Error, which it does when it receives information in the wrong order, which it should never do. I wonder what is causing this? Possibly the general kerfuffling state of the world at the moment.

Addendum (18th September): regarding the above reference to STATUS_DIE_AT_EDGE, the answer is “no it doesn’t”. Boo, I say! Boo and, furthermore, hiss!

I’m sorry to anyone who is getting bored of my cinematography, but I have such fun making these things, even if they are rubbish. The latest efforts are views of two things from Burning Life. Ms Rebekka Ruff told me about the Steam Powered Gumball Factory and clearly I had to visit that - but on the way I also noticed Jillian Callahan’s telescope, and felt that that deserved a piece as well.

Burning Life - Telescope on Vimeo

Burning Life - Gumballs on Vimeo

Unfortunately I am producing these little clips at a rate that seems to be exhausting my uploading allowance on Vimeo. I do like Vimeo very much, it is far nicer, prettier and easier to use than Google Video, and I’m afraid we do not use the Y*uT*be word around here. However, it restricts one to a mere Thirty Megabytes of Information per Week, which sounds like an awful lot but in actual fact isn’t. Particularly as one’s allowance begins anew on a Sunday, and I tend to engage in such projects on Sundays rather than Saturdays. Because of this I have been forced to produce things in piddly little 320×240 format.

I suppose that I should examine the Burning Life areas a little more thoroughly before they vanish.

Oh God, I simply cannot help myself.

The Ordinal Revolving Flare Pistol on Vimeo

I was discussing the tediousness of the “end phase” of commercial production with Mera Pixel earlier today, as I put the final touches to the box that sells the above product (available from Caledon and shortly SLX and SLB, as usual). I simply cannot imagine that anyone actually finds it fun. For the non-commercial and the new resident, I present the following guide to what I, at least, do:

1. Take photographs of product and of my good self holding product. Edit these to put in appropriate text for an advertisement.

2. Copy a product sales box in my showroom. Edit it so that it is appropriately named. Add in the above advertisement on the front. Change the sale price. Add the product to the inventory. Check that it has the correct permissions. Realise that there is no documentation.

2a. Open a bottle of wine and fetch a glass.

3. Write the damned documentation, mentioning all of the functions that one has introduced and how to use them. (No afficionado of the Difference Engine has ever enjoyed this in itself, even though I, being irrepressibly verbose, do not mind this as much as many do.) Place the documentation into the item. Make sure the item has a help function that provides the user with the documentation. In times of sloth, merely place the documentation into the sales box, though this can be most annoying later if people then lose their product instructions and bother you, the creator, with questions.

4. Place updated product in inventory. Add documentation notecard to sales box, to be given out to customers looking for further information. Sigh with relief that everything has now been done.

5. Realise that it is still not in the vendor (I have my sales inventory mirrored in a separate vendor even though I usually sell from boxes, just in case I ever wish to sell things elsewhere). Luckily, I have designed my own custom, immensely-simple vendor, into which I merely need to drop the object, notecard and advertisement, and edit the product listing notecard therein. Sigh with relief.

6. Realise that folk only sometimes pop into my showroom on the off-chance that I have added something new, and thus advertising is necessary. Open new bottle of wine. Compose advertisement in BBCode for inclusion in the Classified section of the SL Forums. Post advertisement. Think about posting it on other forums, generally conclude that one cannot be bothered.

7. Add things to SLExchange and SLBoutique. This is easily the most tedious part of the enterprise. Adding the item itself is easy, simply drop it into the appropriate box in my “Room Of Things That Are Not Very Interesting”, but then one must go to the appropriate sites, click the correct links, type in the details all over again, add photographs and test both the item page and delivery.

8. Knock over half-empty wine bottle, curse, attempt to find salt to pour on carpet.

9. (optional) Realise that there is a fatal flaw in item which requires complete re-engineering and changes in the entire behaviour, and that this means going back to stage 1. Swear indecorously, making abusive gestures. Fall over while attempting to do something completely innocuous. Realise that it is probably time to go to bed.

~ * ~

I do not mention the “compose a product demonstration video” part above because that is quite fun, though I expect that, in time, it will become dull. I still do not understand why it has not become a standard part of commerce on the Grid, though, at least for people who sell things that, well, do things, not furniture or houses or whatnot. Prospective customers do not gain any greater understanding of the nature of a sofa if they see a grainy video of somebody sitting down on it.

But anyway. Honestly, why would anyone wish to submit themselves to that?[1] My vintner clearly would encourage me to continue, but it is not terrific fun. Someone offering a one-stop service for such a process - “give me a copy of the item, I will write up documentation and ad copy, do promotional photographs and video, post it on all of the appropriate sites and go around to Ahern and show it off” - could make a veritable mint.

On that subject, I wonder if there are already any firms offering the services of “street teams” as I believe they are called nowadays. Since so much on the Grid happens by word of mouth and personal contact, a group of people who went around to the popular dancehalls or bingo parlours or coffee shops or wherever it is that people go (I do not keep up with the behaviour of the young these days) talking about their latest amazing purchase could do very well for themselves and their customers. It is rather tricky to evaluate the efficacy of such a company beforehand, but were I so inclined, which I am not, I’m sure I could build up a reputation through an initial promotional phase of low prices in exchange for testimony.

Incidentally, I am only at stage 5 right now, if that. I do rather like the flare pistol, though, it really is rather colourful.

~ * ~

[1]: The question of why I do is, I feel, a matter for another post.

Ah, one other thing that I have been doing recently with regards to Commercial Affairs is the setting of my sold products to “transfer” rather than “copy” (where appropriate - vehicles, for instance, must be copy, given the extraordinary number of accidents which can befall them).

One practical result of this is that people may now visit Ordinal Enterprises, see items which they are not that interested in themselves but think would be absolutely perfect for someone else, and purchase them as gifts without having to bother me about it. But I am also interested in the idea that, once bored, someone would then be able to resell or pass on the item concerned.

If anyone would prefer copy versions they should simply say so, return the original item and I will be delighted to pass them one entirely free of charge - another benefit of transfer items, since if someone buys a copy item and wishes a transferrable version, I have no guarantee that they have removed the item from their inventory and that this is not some sort of “I would like a free thing for my friend please” tomfoolery.

I am of course open to debate on this point. One drawback of no-copy transfer products is that if one wishes to provide a new version, one cannot simply drop the updated one upon the customer without effectively giving them a new one for nothing. I rarely update products, though, I must say.

A conversation with Rebekka Ruff yesterday reminded me of something which I made a very long time ago - the Fabulous Multicoloured Snuffbox. Specially-imported and treated snuff from distant lands makes every refreshing sneeze a marvel!

Ordinal’s Fabulous Multicoloured Snuffbox on Vimeo

Another thing I must release as soon as I gather up the nerve. A little tip: if one is attempting to use the product known as “Windows Movie Maker”, and also attempting to use an piece of music in “MP3″ format, and dragging said piece of music onto the file causes incessant crashing, simply use a product such as Audacity to convert the required part to “WAV” format and drag that instead.

I have been most remiss lately in… well, in all forms of activity. I find myself paying no attention to my own commercial interests, and instead doing very little of import. Last night I forced myself to box things up, take promotional photographs and so on, and I can thus announce that the .45 Shansi and the Beehive Launcher (which I believe I mentioned before) are now available in Second Life, some months after they were actually finished and ready. Pictures can be seen here, if you are at all interested, and you might wish to waste a few moments of your life by watching the following demonstration pieces:

.45 Shansi on Vimeo

Ordinal, pursued by bees on Vimeo

The sound seems rather peculiar and distorted to me at times. This “Vimeo” thing is very simple and pleasant to use, but I am not convinced of the quality of their Format Conversion Engineering.

Available from the usual places - Caledon, SLExchange, SLBoutique, bah.

My phrenologist tells me that a few small taps of the hammer upon a point above and in front of my left ear will bring about a much-needed removal of this enervation, but quite frankly I do not trust the man anywhere near me with a blunt instrument.